Top 8 Girls 3/5/08

Maybe my patience with Idol is wearing thin, but I don't remember the shows being this tedious in seasons past. I am literally laboring to sit there through the whole thing. At least with long running shows like Survivor, the producers were willing to tweak the game to keep it fresh and interesting. Oh well, on to the rants.

Asia'h - Our resident apostrophe girl shocked me with her version of "I Wanna Dance With Somebody." It takes guts to try and pull off what was essentially a Whitney imitation and she completely went for it, which impressed me. What did not impress me was her high-waisted grammaw pants. What in the hell was that all about? I'd hate to see her bid to win this thing get derailed because her Granny dresses her. It's okay to fall off the fashion train, just don't lay on the tracks and let it run you over. She will definitely be in the top 6 girls.

Kady - Freddie Mercury would smack this girl around and have his way with her if he weren't gay...and dead. The android that is Kady Malloy plodded her way through a Queen joint as if someone propped her wooden ass up there to sing. I've never seen anyone be less enthused about anything in my life. She's definitely out on her ass after tonight.

Amanda - In the ridiculous video entrances that Fox does for the contestants, Amanda states that her most embarassing moment was melting the house and burning down the family pool. She's still not allowed back in the trailer park. Skunk girl breaks out with "I Hate Myself For Loving You" when actually, I felt the complete opposite. I love myself for hating her. Every out of the side of her mouth song that she sings sounds the same. Even though the judges liked her last night, I think she gets shown the door. It sounds like she gargles sandpaper penises.

Carly - Okay, did I miss the memo that high-waisted, camel-toe pants were back in style? I'd said before that as long as I kept my eyes closed, she was okay to listen to. I'm even wavering on that now....and besides, if I had my eyes close, I totally would have missed that moose knuckle she was showing the whole country. I'm a little sick of her standing there and yelling at the microphone. I mean, if I wanted to be screamed at, I'd go steal purses from the Bingo Hall. I'm ready to hear something a little softer, more sophisticated, more technically proficient out of her, because I think she can deliver. We'll see.

Kristy - Her video intro said that she thought she was a dog when she was a little. I bet every boyfriend she's ever had has tried to bring back some dog like memories for her. She tried a country version of a Journey song and I didn't buy it. She keeps doing these weird things with her face that distract from her mediocre voice. She's my darkhorse pick to leave if either Kady or the skunk ape avoid the axe. Sorry Pben. Maybe after she gets the boot she'll move to Virginia and you can show her a thing or two about shooting wildlife in your backyard.

Ramiele - Matt21sz...Sir, I owe you an apology. This girl is hot. I'm not sure why it took me until last night to see it, but I finally saw it. I thought she did a great job on her song. It still amazes me that something so big can come out of a body so tiny. Maybe something big can go back into her tiny body and it'll be caught on camera. Here's hoping.

Sidenote: Paula Abdul is higher than a kite and what the heck happened to her weave? You can see the tracks in her hair. What a trainwreck this lady is.

Brooke - She is absolutely my favorite to win the whole thing. She did a great job with a classic 80's tune and took it in a unique and enjoyable direction. I'd buy her version of "Love Is A Battlefield" as a single without a doubt.

Syesha - My homegirl closed the night with some more Whitney and did a pretty good job. Her voice tends to get a little thin and sharp in the upper register, but that's being kinda nitpicky. She's definitely safe tonight.