Season 8, Week 2 - YEEEEE HAWWWWWW!

Country week is upon us and look! Skeletor is the guest artist! What? That's Randy Travis? Oh...

Why, there's a shot of Randy in the crowd with a blonde haired man, who I'm now told is his wife, Mangela. My, what a handsome woman.

First up is Michael Sarver, the oil man, tackling "Ain't Goin Down til the Sun Comes Up." This song sucked an egg when Garth Brooks sang it and it's certainly no better now. Country Rap is *NEVER* a good idea. I give Michael 3 Cowpies out of 10.

Allison tackles Patty Loveless and actually does a pretty good job. I don't know that I like her or not yet, but she definitely doesn't sound like she's 16 years old. 5 Cowpies for you, m'dear!

Kris Allen next. I'm pretty sure that Skelet....I mean Randy Travis just hit on him. Gag. Didn't like that song at all. He took a good Garth Brooks song (as if there is such a thing) and castrated it like Jackie Sherrill. 4 Cowpies.

Lil Rounds (can't be her real name) tees off on Martina McBride and is sharper than crap. Sure Lil, just sing 20 cents sharp the whole time, no one will notice. She needs to figure out who stuffed that bale of hay in the back of her dress. Oh wait, that's her ass. They haven't seen a back end that big in the country since Boss Hogg left Hazzard County. This was VERY bad. 2 and a half smelly Cowpies.

Madame Lambert and his nasty complexion just RUINED a darn good Johnny Cash song. I was watching, waiting for Johnny's rickety corpse to rattle onto the stage and break his dead feet off in this dude's hindparts. This guy singing about flames is, to quote Alanis Morrisette, like a no smoking sign on your cigarette break. This clown is clearly in love with himself and loves the sound of his own voice and WILL NOT win this competition. 1 stinking, steaming, runny, oozing, puss-filled Cowpie, idiot.

The blind dude doesn't realize that Randy Travis is making faces at him. Goodness...this is bad. However, since he is following Little Timmy SugarShorts, it actually sounds good. 4 Cowpies.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeene.......I'd forgotten what a cool song this is. Alexis did a fair job with it, although I could do without the whole walking down the stairs bit at the beginning of the song. Enough already, just sing the song. She played it safe which was smart this week. 5 Cowpies

Danny is the real deal. He'll screw up soon enough and I'll attack him like Kelly Clarkson at the Sizzler, but until then, he's the obvious front runner at this point. 7 Cowpies for you Danny!

Anoop is next, and in the crowd is his family. Wonder who's watching the gas station? I didn't like that version at all. Anoop is is trying his best to get sent home. 3 Cowpies, with Curry for Snoop with an A.

Megan goes a walkin....after midnight....searchin for her bra, which she apparently forgot. I'd really like her to stick around as I like a freaky tattooed blonde as much as the next guy, but she may have just warbled her last tune on this show. 4 Cowpies. With boobs.

Justin Timberlake also picked an Underwood tune. He's giving Danny a run for his money at this point for the cream of the crop. 7 Cowpies for Matt too!