Top 10 Girls

Due to a DVR malfunction, I was unable to see the boys from Tuesday...my bad.

I did watch the girls on Thursday though....

Carly - I was impressed with her business acumen when she said she owned a tattoo shop in San Diego, but then she's slinging beers at an Irish dive around the corner. I guess the ink bidness ain't all it's cracked up to be. I thought she did an okay job on the Heart song. Those dagger like teeth she has really disturb me and I'm not in to girls with ink all over, so I find myself watching her with my eyes closed. She's definitely safe this week.

Syesha has got some serious skills...she's my Sarasota homegirl, so unless she really starts screwing the pooch, she'll have my support for a long time. She was kinda iffy on her song choice though. She's a little young to pull of the "Me and Mr. Jones" vibe. It kinda creeped me out. Her charm and million dollar smile keep her plenty safe for now.

Brooke - Oh my sweet, sweet Brooke....she is divine. Wonderful voice, fantastic song choice. She's here for the long haul, thank goodness. She's already played keyboards and last night she was on guitar. This girl is the real deal and is truly talented.

Ramiele - More than one of my internet friends with normally spot on taste in women have gone apeshit for this girl and I'm just not seeing it. Her hair is stank. Luckily for her, her voice is good. Damn good. It's very strange to hear such a powerful instrument inside such a tiny body. She also has nothing to worry about.

Kristy Lee Cook - You're no good, you're no good, you're no good, baby you're no good.....Hey, you picked the song, not me. Be happy that you're easy on the eyes, which will keep you safe for a while, but if you were in a blind colony and had to sing for your supper, you'd starve to death.

Amanda Overmyer - Holy crap, did I ever get sick of you quick fast and in a hurry. Regardless of what you sing, your face looks like you're pinching off a monster turd. It's not good. You can dance a little, I guess, so should they ever start casting for "Dancing with the Biker Chick Nurses with Horrible Hair", I mean, you're a total shoo-in for that show. Definitely in danger of leaving...

Alaina - Kudos to Idol for including deaf people in the competition. There's no way this girl could hear or she would rip off her own ears out with her bare hands. I sat there watching her sing and I am literally wincing with every note....goodbye to her this week.

Alexandrea Lushington - Worst name in the competition. Could they even fit that on a CD? I think I'm just gonna call you "Lush." It's too awesome of a nickname to pass up. I think you have a remarkable voice and you wasted it on the crappiest song you could possibly pick. Speaking of pick...and I don't mean to get gross here, but are we going to have to look at that zit underneath your bottom lip all season long?

Kady Malloy - Never met a note she wouldn't sing sharp on...this girl is as good as gone. She was horrible last night. The half lidded bedroom eyes have no chance of saving her. I'm not sure how Ryan can say this is the best talent we've ever seen in the history of history and then have this girl standing out there singing off key like she couldn't give a damn. Goodbye and good riddance.

Asia'h - She has that huskiness to her voice that sounds like she's been gargling sandpaper. On the sympathetic front, I'm pulling for this girl, but she's got to start singing to keep me on her side. It didn't help matters last night when she went for a note and nothing came out.

Any combination of Amanda, Alaina and Kady will be hitting the road this week.

American Idol - Season 7

I usually wait until the top 12 to begin, but what the hell, let's get this party started.

The boys and a couple of girls started us off last night and it's really an easy show, because you can suck, just suck a little less than a couple of other people and you'll be around next week. That being said, these guys did a lot of sucking.


David Hernandez - He was pretty good. His voice is strong, he just looks a little weird and did you see his Dad? Dude is 500 pounds if he's an ounce. He should be around a while though, great voice. David I mean, his Dad won't be around much longer.

Chikezie - Goodness...I'd like you to introduce you to my friend "Pitch" because you damn sure haven't met him yet. He was all over the place, and was really, really bad, but he's not in danger because several people out-sucked him, big time.

David Cook - I can't remember what you sang...not a good sign for you. Points for the soul patch, but that's it.

Jason Yeager - Moooooooooooooooooon Riverrrrrrrrrrrrr....ugh. I was ready to cut my ears off my head and FedEx them to Lithuania so they wouldn't have to listen to you warble your way through this tune. If Captain Steubing calls and offers you a job, take it. You are gonna be gone from here right quick like. I won't even start in on his kid yet...I don't think it will be necessary.

Robbie Carrico - He's pretty good, and I don't normally favor the rock type singers on this show. He should be okay for a while.

David Archuleta - Okay, the kid can sing, I'll give him that, but he's very annoying. Great voice, great smile, but the "aw shucks" routine played thin with me after about 9 seconds.

Danny Noriega - Danny, Danny, Danny...holy Jesus, where to begin? I never thought I'd have to deal with someone as annoying as Sanjaya again, but here you are. You won't win this thing, you have no shot, I mean, It's American Idol, not American Boy Who Thinks He's A Girl Who Can Kind Of Sing A Little. Nice call on the skinny jeans, they accented your feminine figure. After years of being skeptical, I am now certain that Elvis is dead, because if he wasn't, he would've walked on stage and kicked your ass for what you did to Jailhouse Rock. You are the epitome of suck and you are in danger of leaving, which is a damn shame, because I would have had some serious fun ripping you a new one every week.

Luke Menard - Too bad you can't just stand there, or you might win. Unfortunately for you, you have to sing, which you made a miserable attempt at last night. Someone described you as a cross between Hugh Jackman and Orlando Bloom (props to fsugrad for the find.) I describe you as a cross between bamboo needles in the ear and a .357 to the temple. P.S. Danny wants to know if you like him? Check yes or no.

Colton Berry - Dingle Berry is more like it. Just when Danny was fretting about being the most flambouyant fella on the show, you come along and muck it all up. You are horrid. Stop singing. You should only use your mouth for things you're good at, and we can all imagine what that might be. P.S. Danny wants to know if you like him? Check yes or no.

Garrett Haley - Holy shit! Luke and Colton really suck, but you come along looking like Lief Garrett had sex with a stick... Are you seriously on this show? You can't sing. At all. Stop it. No, seriously. Not even Danny likes you, and he's the biggest whore there is! You have to go, soon or I am going to break my television.

Jason Castro - I had an adverse reaction to you on site, but after I listened for a bit, I changed my mind. I think you've got some talent and after the three people that went before you, you have no fear of leaving.

Michael Johns - This guy is the real deal. He'll be around a while and he's not annoying, so that's a plus.

I'm not sure if they're kicking one or two off Thursday night, if it's two, Garrett and Colton are done. More tomorrow after the ladies sing tonight.