Movie Songs

Allison - She took too long to get to the hit, and it was boring until then. I also think this is in a key that's way too low for her. Her sweaty chin on the closeup was nasty. She was pretty underwhelming.

Anoop - Who's manning the gas station while he's here singing? These are the things I want to know. Those lights must be kickin' because he's got a wicked case of the sweaty lip too...

Madame's eye shadow looks magnificent tonight. I don't like this clown, not because of the douchey hairdo (hairdouche?) or horrible outfits, but because there is not a chance on God's green earth that I will ever spend 1 red cent of my money on anything he releases. All he does is stand there and scream. Argue with me all you like, I think he's horrible.

Matt - I think he stores all of his power in that ZitMole on his forehead. I bet if it disappeared he wouldn't be able to carry a tune in a bucket. He had some really shaky spots tonight intonation wise. It's like no one wants to win this. Everybody is bad so far, and there's no more blind guy to get rid of. Yikes. What the heck is Simon doing to his microphone while the new judge lady is talking?? Strange...

Danny - He's still one of my favorites. The difference between him and the others is A. I believe him. He's selling and I'm buying. B. I'd buy a record of his.

Kris - I'm not sure singing a song no one has ever heard of is a smart play at this point.

Lil - Oh look, another wig. Yawn. I think she has Bette Midler hidden in her massive ass. Goodness, this is bad. Lil's luck is up this week. She's the one that will leave, with Kris and Matt joining her in the bottom 3.

Week 5 - Songs from the year you were born....

Kris - So, I see you were born in Nineteen Eighty Suck. You sang "All She Wants To Do is Dance" however, all I wanted to do was choke the life out of you, yank your trachea out and use it to make soup stock. Definitely in the bottom 3.

Lil - Thanks for the history of your name. If your Mom were being honest, she should have named you "Sharp Azshit." Tilting your head back and belting is great and all, but the demonstrated lack of concern for pitch is pissing me off. I expected Ike Turner to walk out on stage and beat the snot out of this girl. The only thing I like less than Lil right now is the back fat that's pouring from Paula's underarms....

Anoop - Who the hell is picking these songs? It's like they're playing a huge joke on everyone telling them to pick the crappiest song from the year they were born. Can this guy sing? Maybe. Is he even going to sniff winning this competition? There's a better chance of Scott landing a job flying commercial jets.

Scott - "I can see forever...." ummm...no, you can't. Can we get him his eyes back if he agrees to trade them for his vocal chords? Perhaps the worst Idol performance I've ever, ever heard. Ever.

Paula has lipstick on her teeth. This is the officially the worst episode of American Idol in the history of American Idol. I hate this season with a passion.

Allison - Finally! It certainly didn't take much to stand out amongst this collection of turds tonight, but Allison was impressive covering Bonnie Raitt. This girl has a voice and a presence much, much more mature than her 16 years.

Matt was good. This show is boring now.

I didn't see the others because the circuit boards on my DVR were soldered together by Scott.

Freaking doofus.